Here is a fun little horror story.

About 25 percent of young adults in America are functionally illiterate.
Read that again. A quarter of our kids cannot read well enough to function in daily life.

Now the plot twist.
More than half of that same group still graduated high school. We are literally handing out diplomas like party favors. Meanwhile the kids who earned them cannot read the instructions on the box. If this feels insane, that is because it is.

For years, schools have used two main ways to move kids from grade to grade: either hold them back if they’re behind (“retention”) or push everyone ahead no matter what (“social promotion”).

So, what’s the difference? Social promotion means students pass to the next grade even if they haven’t mastered the basics. The thinking here is that it helps kids stick with their age group, keeps their self-esteem intact, and gives them a chance to soak up good habits from classmates who are doing better.

It sounds good in theory, right? Some teachers and advocates refer to this as “lifting”, hoping that struggling students will learn from their more successful peers. The hope is that these kids will see what it takes to do well and start to copy it.

But here’s what actually happens: Everyone realizes you don’t really have to try. If you know you’ll move up no matter how much you learn, why work harder? Even strong students learn there’s no real penalty for slacking off, so motivation drops for the entire group. The bar gets lowered, and everyone loses: less learning, less responsibility, less drive to start things on your own. Social promotion teaches everyone the same lesson.

Nothing matters.

If you know you will pass whether you try or not, why try. Kids are not dumb. They do not grind through flashcards or textbook chapters for fun. They work hard when the work matters. They slack when it does not.

And the system keeps telling them it does not.

Even the good students figure it out. They see friends move up despite bombing tests and ignoring homework. Pretty soon the message is loud and clear. Effort is optional. Results do not matter. Being prepared is for suckers.

Then the bar drops.

Kids pick up on something else, too: their teachers and schools won’t really hold them accountable. Too often, parents blame the teachers instead of helping their own kids build better study habits. Parents jump in at this point. Not to help. To blame.

“He is struggling because the teacher does not understand him.”
“She is behind because the assignments are unfair.”
“My child needs support not consequences.”

No. Your child needs consequences.
Most kids do.
Adults do too.

This is why your twelve year old cannot multiply fractions and your sixteen year old cannot read a bus schedule.

As parents, we have to face this. Sometimes, helping our kids succeed long-term means making some tough choices, even if it means your child needs to stay in the same grade another year. It sounds harsh, but promoting a kid who can’t read well or do basic math isn’t helping them. The next year just gets harder, and the foundation’s still shaky.

Here’s what the numbers show. According to the National Assessment of Educational Progress, basically America’s report card,

Forty percent of fourth graders cannot read at a basic level.
Not poetry. Not Shakespeare. Basic reading. As in “what does this paragraph say.”

One in three eighth graders also cannot read at a basic level.
We are talking about thirteen year olds who cannot identify the main idea in a short passage.

These are the lowest reading scores in decades. But wait. It gets better.

And here’s the kicker: this early learning gap doesn’t just vanish. In 2024, reports showed that about two-thirds of community college students and 40% of students at four-year colleges had to take remedial, non-credit courses when they arrived. In other words, they had a diploma, but they weren’t ready for college-level work.

When these kids graduate and head to college, guess what happens.
A massive chunk get dumped into remedial classes. These are non credit classes that reteach middle school material because high school did not.

• About two thirds of community college students need remedial help.

• About forty percent of four year college students do too.

• In California, twenty two percent of first time students were taking remedial math.
  

Remedial math. After high school. After a diploma that said they were ready.

Think about it: these are kids who “passed” high school, with decent GPAs even. But when they got to college, a big chunk couldn’t handle the math or writing. California found that before recent reforms, 22% of first-time community college students took remedial math in 2019.

So, yes, lots of students show up at college with transcripts that say “ready,” but their skills are still at a middle school level.

That’s why going back to retention, asking students to repeat a grade if they haven’t mastered the material, makes sense. The idea is simple: don’t move on until you actually get it. Give kids an extra year to fill the gaps and truly catch up.

But, parents panic. Teachers freeze. Administrators want the drama to go away. Everyone imagines the worst case scenario. A crying kid. A ruined self esteem. A future in shambles.

Here is what actually happens when you do retention the right way, especially in the early grades.

Kids catch up.

Kids build real skills instead of limping along with fake ones.

Kids actually enter middle school ready instead of hoping no one notices what they cannot do.

States like Florida and Indiana proved it.
Retaining struggling readers in the early years (K through 3) led to real academic gains that lasted for years. Not months. Years.

And here is the biggest win.
Kids who were retained early ended up needing fewer catch up classes in high school. They earned better grades than the kids who got waved through.

Retention works when it comes with support and real teaching.
Social promotion works when your goal is pretending everything is fine.

It’s about long-term foundations, not short-term feel-good moments. With social promotion, everyone gets a quick win: you move up a grade, parents feel relief, and the problem’s hidden for another year. But with retention, you tackle the hard stuff early, and that when real solutions can begin. It’s a chance to see what’s really getting in your child’s way, maybe it’s a learning challenge, problems at home, or a need for extra help.

Research backs this up, especially in the early grades. States like Florida and Indiana found that keeping struggling students in the early years (K-3) led to real, lasting gains in reading and math for up to five years.

The retention model teaches that your effort matters—and there are consequences if you don’t meet standards. It also pushes schools to step in and give the help kids actually need, instead of just moving the problem along.

And down the road? Kids who were retained, especially early, end up needing fewer catch-up classes in high school and get better grades compared to those who were just passed ahead.

It’s a tough conversation, but if we want to set our kids up for real success, we have to make the hard call.

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If you’ve been following our “Curriculum of Dissent,” you know we have to push our kids to find their own voices, their own opinions and thoughts, not just the easy answers. We explored The Great Gatsby and how that masterpiece predicted our age of filters and followers, and its warning about illusion, loneliness, and moral decay is hitting our kids harder than ever. You can read that post here.

We explored Catcher in the Rye and Holden Caufield was asking if anyone still cares about fragile things, a question our kids are still asking today. We specifically explored the need for empathy in today’s modern world. You can read that post here.

In this new instalment we will focus on Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World. If it’s been a while since you read the book, here’s a quick refresher.

Published in 1932, (1932) introduces a future where humans have traded freedom for comfort. Children are created in labs, sorted into castes, and conditioned to be perfectly content with their assigned roles. There’s no war, no poverty, no pain, but also no love, no art, and no individuality. To keep citizens docile, the government provides endless entertainment, casual sex, and a happiness drug called soma. The city is essentially a hedonistic and superficial culture.

Into this “perfect” world walks John, a man born outside the system who still feels grief, love, and faith. When he’s brought into the city, he’s repulsed by its hedonistic and superficial culture. Ultimately, the novel explores the conflict between stability and freedom, and the cost of engineered happiness. His refusal to numb himself exposes the novel’s core question: if pleasure and comfort erase suffering, do they also erase what makes us human?

It’s interesting to note, twenty six years after the book was published, Huxley doubled down on his prediction:

“If the first half of the 20th century was the era of the technical engineer, the 2nd half will be the era of the social engineers and the 21st century will be the era of the WORLD CONTROLLERS.”

So how exactly did Huxley’s predictions come true? Let’s look at three examples.

First: Using Pleasure as Control

In Brave New World, the citizens use and abuse a drug called SOMA. SOMA is freely distributed by a quick hit tablet used multiple times per day. It’s use is both habitual and encouraged. It is distributed freely and is widely accepted by the citizens. The SOMA induces a euphoric, dreamlike state and helps people to forget their troubles, allowing them to escape any pain, discomfort, or distress drug gives the user an euphoric boost, erasing all feelings of discomfort and anxiety. When using SOMA, life is perceived as perfect.

Now go back and read that paragraph again. This time replace the word SOMA with DOPAMINE and replace the word tablet with SOCIAL MEDIA.

In Brave New World, the citizens use and abuse a drug called DOPAMINE. DOPAMINE is freely distributed by a SOCIAL MEDIA used multiple times per day. It’s use is both habitual and encouraged. It is distributed freely and is widely accepted by the citizens. The DOPAMINE induces a euphoric, dreamlike state and helps people to forget their troubles, allowing them to escape any pain, discomfort, or distress drug gives the user an euphoric boost, erasing all feelings of discomfort and anxiety. When using DOPAMINE, life is perceived as perfect.

Soma numbs the citizens of the World State. Likes, views, streaks, and dopamine loops numb ours. Brave New World is here and we now live in a sedation state.

Second: Distraction Discourages Depth

In the Brave New World, nobody reads serious books, paints, debates, or wonders why. It’s too difficult. The character of John is considered a savage because his mother taught him how to read Shakespeare.

In Brave New World, thinking is messy, difficult and confusing. It’s also emotional. In Huxley’s world it’s easier to tune out, take SOMA, play games, watch shows, and swipe left.

That’s where we are now. A generation that can scroll for six hours but can’t sit in silence for ten minutes.

In both worlds people live in an environment of constant distraction. The average teenager spends over eight hours a day on screens, not counting schoolwork. When silence feels like anxiety and stillness feels like failure, we’ve built exactly what Huxley feared, a culture avoiding deep thought.

Third: The Death of the Individual

In Brave New World, everyone is born into a class, Alpha to Epsilon. And they are conditioned to like their role. Factory workers are electrically shocked as babies to learn to dislike books and art. They are conditioned to accept menial tasks and labor.

Yes, I know. I hear you pushing back “My kids aren’t built in labs.”
Ture, but they are shaped and groomed by algorithms. And that is a responsibility we parent have completely abdicated.

Big Data and every online app, game and platform knows their preferences, habits, fears, and purchase history. Every “For You” feed is a now a digital caste system: engineered identity packaged for maximum engagement. The conditioning Huxley warned about doesn’t happen in classrooms or labs anymore. It happens in newsfeeds.

The eccentrics, the philosophers, the Merry Pranksters, the beatniks, the free thinkers, the bohemians, the freaks and the heads are all gone. Say what you will, these groups forced discussion and forced new ideas of individuality and personal independence into our national conscience and forced discussions among generations at dinner tables across the country.

And it’s disappearing at an alarming rate.

At the end of Brave New World, John, the book’s only unconditioned human, rejects the comfortable society around him. He demands the right to think, to feel pain, to be miserable.

“I claim them all,” he says. “The right to be unhappy.”

That line hits harder every year.
Because that’s what freedom actually is, the right to feel everything, even the hard parts. Our kids think freedom means convenience: unlimited choices, instant access, permanent comfort. But real freedom, creative, moral, emotional, always involves discomfort.

It’s the right to sit in silence. To feel boredom. To ask dangerous questions.
That’s the only way to stay human in a world that wants to keep you entertained.

BraveNewWorld #AldousHuxley #DadBodWeekly #CurriculumOfDissent #Parenting #SocialMedia #TeenCulture #BooksNotFilters #Authenticity #DigitalAddiction

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In our Curriculum of Dissent series, we explored The Great Gatsby and one man’s obsession with image, false love, and his fatal downfall when authenticity, decency, and empathy are replaced by the chase for status, image, and greed. (Click here to read that post)

In Brave New World, we explored the dangers to our kids as governments and corporations use pleasure as a means of control, distraction to discourage deep critical thinking, and the death of the individual. (Click here to read that post)

In The Catcher in the Rye, we explored Holden Caulfield’s search for empathy and how his search is still very important and relevant to our kids’ lives today. (Click here to read that post)

Now, in this part of the series, we turn to the writing of Hunter S. Thompson, especially his fiercely honest look at American politics in Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72.

Why does Thompson matter for the next generation?
Thompson delivered several distinct themes to his writings.

First, he refused to accept the status quo.
He warned us of the modern media landscape before anyone else.

Thompson was an extremely skeptical and critical writer that refused to accept the official narrative put out by political and corporate organizations. He was skeptical of staged photo ops and pushed to uncover the real story behind slick presentations. Thompson understood that political reporting devolved into image management. Politicians and corporations feed narratives to reporters. Reporters take those packaged narratives and repackage them to win viewers and ratings. Voters receive a neatly sanitized package of talking points. In today’s media climate, we can substitute newspapers and cable television for TikTok personalities and influencers, the dynamic has not changed.

Thomson hated this version of journalism. So, he created the genre of “Gonzo” journalism. Gonzo journalism is where the reporter becomes part of the story, writing in first-person, blending factual reporting with personal experience and commentary. Emotion, outrage, and confrontation are preferred over decorum and complacency. He rejected the pre-packaged press release to get closer to the truth. Thompson defended his style, arguing that his unfiltered, biased account got closer to the truth than the sanitized, “objective” reporting of mainstream journalists who pretended they had no perspective. In other words, when Thompson saw something was wrong, he called it out. He never gave a politician a free platform to spread misinformation.

“The job of a political journalist is not to report what the candidate says.
It is to figure out what the candidate means.”
(Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72)

“Objective journalism is one of the main reasons
American politics has been allowed to be so corrupt for so long.”
The Independent, 1997

“Some people will say that words like scum and rotten are wrong for Objective Journalism, which is true, but they miss the point. It was the built in blind spots of the objective rules and dogmas that allowed Nixon to slither into the White House.”
(Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72)

Thompson’s beliefs surrounding political and corporate corruption still feel relevant today. Thompson believed that politicians sell image, not truth. He believed that the press became weak and unwitting accomplices. He understood that outrage is manufactured. Power thrives on distraction and fear. Thompson fought to expose this. His detractors called him a drug-fueled lunatic. But in reality, he was a patriot trying to save democracy.

Second, Thompson hated hypocrisy, regardless of which side of the political and social spectrum you were on. It didn’t matter if you were Richard Nixon or a chapter president of The Hells Angles.

“The Angels are violent and racist and they hate everybody.
But at least they are honest about it.
That is more than you can say for the people who run this country.”
Hell’s Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga

He viewed figures like Richard Nixon not as political opponents. He went as far as to call them evil incarnate. He viewed politicians and corrupt CEO’s as men who presented and image of decorum and morality. But behind their packaged image he found men driven by greed, no limits dishonesty, disdain for service to their community and a hatred for the common person. In our present-day political climate filled with excerpts from the Epstein files, insider trading, financial corruption and moral bankruptcy, our kids could use a writer like Hunter S. Thompson to expose their hypocrisy.

Thompson regularly attacked his fellow reporters, calling them cowards. He attacked traditional journalists for their “false objectivity” which he labeled as a moral cop out. He charged that by pretending to be neutral, the mainstream press weakly gave a platform to liars and con men and failed in their moral duty to expose the truth.

“Most journalists are too weak and scared to be honest.
They hide behind objectivity because they are afraid
to say who the liars are.”

“The truth is never found in the middle.
The middle is only where cowards hide.”

Thompson knew manufactured outrage was an effective distraction. Today that manufactured outrage can be as simple and divisive as a new Cracker Barrel logo, or the building of a new ballroom in the east wing. Manufacture an outrage and you have a distraction. Thompson watched campaigns manufacture crises to hide failures. Today we call that a deep fake to manipulate an algorithm. The names have changed. The pattern has not.

Third, he believed the corruption of both political parties and large corporations were responsible for the death of the American dream.

It sounds like an outrageous claim, but Hunter S. Thompson was a patriot. Thompson did not want us to trust politicians. He wanted us to question them, study them, laugh at them, and expose the machinery behind their grins. In a distracted age where outrage is content and spin is the new currency, our kids need a Thompson more than ever. They need to refuse to be hypnotized by a system that plays to our comfort. If he were alive today, he would relish covering the Trump era of politics and the take no prisoners scorched earth tactics of the Trump political machine.

His entire body of work was driven by a deep sense of disappointment and outrage at the gap between America’s promise and its grim reality. Thompson warned about the death of the American dream. He believed in the promise of freedom, opportunity for all, and self-determination. He wrote to expose those that stood in the way of these ideals.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and his pieces on Nixon, is a laments. He believed the American Dream was murdered by political and corporate greed, hypocrisy, and spiritual decay. Issues that are still on the ballot today.

Fourth, he writes with brutal honesty.
Yes his language is tough, raw, and unfiltered. He purposely cut the polished, safe corporate-spin. He leaves in the drugs and alcohol to give the reader full perspective. By showing the reader that he too is imperfect, he built trust and credibility. He’s offering the entire picture. He is telling us the full story, warts, and all.

Thompson refused to be lied to. When he saw distraction, gaslighting and misinformation in the political and corporate segments of our society, he called it out in his own abrasive style, not safely sanitized by his corporate editors. He was brave. He didn’t fear his position of dissent. Our kids are growing up in an age of bombardment of political spin, corporate messaging, social media performance, persuasion and disinformation. He gave his readers the truth, no matter how dark and uncomfortable.

“Yes, I was tripping on mescaline, and yes, the truth is even crazier than this.”

Here he’s performing an act of honesty, a commitment to the truth, however dark and uncomfortable it was.

So, why should our kids read Thompson? His writing helps develop an essential skill for young adults, critical thinking, and skepticism. Our kids today are drowning in political content but can’t tell what’s spin and what’s truth.

Thompson knew politics wasn’t a noble debate between competing visions; it was a traveling circus featuring distraction, disinformation, deep fakes and lies. He called out George Bush Sr.’s lie of “No New Taxes.” Instead of reporting what Bush said, he called the lie out. Gonzo journalism.

“George Bush will say anything, do anything,
and pretend to be anything if it helps him get elected.”
Hunter S. Thompson, Rolling Stone 2004 election coverage

Thompson didn’t want us to trust politicians, he wanted us to question them, study them, laugh at them, and expose their lies.

Thompson watched as deceitfully crafted narratives crushed true substance. He watched branding, spin, and mythmaking decide who was viable. He realized that politics was marketing, not merit. Kids need to know this. They are already targeted by political content disguised as memes, jokes, and influencer reactions.

Thompson saw how campaigns sell emotion in precise doses. Fear for motivation. Hope for sedation. This is exactly how modern political content farms work. A teenager scrolling political TikTok needs a BS filter stronger than anything we grew up with.

Thompson was not a liberal icon. He was not a conservative mascot. He was anti-corruption, anti-cowardice, and anti-manipulation. He distrusted the entire machine. This is a priceless lesson for teens raised in a world where loyalty to a team is treated as a substitute for independent thought. Prove me wrong.

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In our “Curriculum of Dissent” series, we explored The Great Gatsby and cornered one man’s obsession with image, false love, and his fatal downfall when authenticity, decency, and empathy are replaced by the chase for status, image, and greed. (Click here to read that post)

In Brave New World, we explored the dangers to our kids as governments and corporations use pleasure as a means of control, distraction to discourage deep critical thinking, and the death of the individual. (Click here to read that post)

In The Catcher in the Rye, we explored Holden Caulfield’s search for empathy and how his search is still very important and relevant to our kids’ lives today. (Click here to read that post)

This week, we’re exploring Douglas Adams’ hilarious and deeply philosophical masterpiece, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Side note: As a high-strung, stressed-out college freshman, a student in the middle of the night walked our entire dorm and placed large, round yellow stickers on every room door. The sticker simply had two words in bold blue lettering: DON’T PANIC. At the time, I didn’t get it. I just thought our hall was vandalized. But after talking to some of my dorm hall buddies, I learned what the stickers meant. A quick trip to the bookstore and I picked up my own copy. I am not exaggerating when I tell you, from that point on, my life philosophy changed for the better. This is the book that tells you the most important thing you need to know about navigating the 21st century and all of its gaslighting, corruption-filled, status-obsessed, anxiety-fueling absurdity:

Don’t Panic.

If it’s been a while since you read the book, or you’ve never picked it up, here’s what you need to know: Douglas Adams’ first book of a four-book trilogy was first released in book form in 1979. The story begins on the morning the Earth is destroyed. Our main character, Arthur Dent, is an ordinary Englishman trying to save his house from demolition, a victim of government incompetence and bureaucracy.

Arthur’s longtime friend, Ford Prefect, arrives at Arthur’s house and tells him not to worry about the house. There are bigger problems right now. Ford reveals he’s actually an alien from another planet. Ford tells Arthur that Earth is about to be destroyed to make way for an off-ramp of a hyperspace highway. Earth is a victim of government incompetence and bureaucracy. (See the absurdity?)

Seconds before Earth explodes, Ford rescues Arthur by hitchhiking onto a passing spaceship, and suddenly Arthur is thrust into an endless universe, filled with increasingly absurd adventures while searching for meaning in a cosmos that makes no sense. As Arthur and Ford explore the universe looking for the meaning of life, they continually arrive at the puzzling answer: 42.

The book’s central joke, and its deepest truth, comes when a cosmic supercomputer reveals that the answer to life, the universe, and everything is simply “42.” The problem is that nobody understands that answer. Adams uses comedy and science fiction to explore what happens when we stop demanding life spoon feed us answers and instead start creating our own meaning.

So why is this book so important, especially forty-six years after its release? Because if there’s one thing we know as parents, it’s that our kids are growing up in a world that is determined to cram their lives into rigid little boxes. Schedules. Sports, Tests, Metrics. Rubrics. College admissions checklists. Everything neat, tidy, predictable. But in reality life shows up like a bulldozer and says:

“Sorry kid, life is unpredictable. Adapt.”

The first, most vital lesson the book and series teach our kids is that life is not a predictable structure; it’s a chaotic adventure. Change has happened. Change is here. And change is coming in the future. There is no way to avoid it. The people who get through it happy and healthy are those who can work with the change.

Let’s talk about 42 and the meaning of life.

Meaning, purpose, empathy, sympathy, authenticity, and bravery are the most essential tools our kids need to survive today’s gaslighting, deep faking, image-chasing, status-loving world.

So what does 42 have to do with it? This is where Douglas Adams was brilliant. In the early days of computing, 42 acted as a placeholder in code. It’s a variable that can stand in for anything you want to add in later. When residents ask the supercomputer, “What’s the meaning of life?” it simply answers 42. Adams is telling us the answer is arbitrary.

The meaning of life is whatever you want it to be.

For our kids, they need to learn how to define their own meaning of life, one they can thrive in long after we’re gone.

Maybe their meaning of life is service
(”I want to leave the world a better place than I found it”).

Maybe their meaning of life is intimacy.
(”I just want to find someone I can spend my life with and we can be happy.”)

Maybe their meaning of life is human connection.
(”I want to be a part of a community”).

The book teaches us that the question (and the act of asking questions) is far more important than the answer. It tells us that the true meaning of life is something that is to be discovered out there (even if it means leaving our comfortable country house like Arthur Dent did). The book tells us the meaning of life is something to be discovered on your own, not assigned by an outside force.

Let’s talk about anxiety.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy gives us permission to stop taking life so seriously. Yes, we have problems. Yes, we have goals. Yes, living in today’s digital, modern, social media world is the direct cause of anxiety and stress. But The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy slaps it all back into perspective like a comedic wet fish to the face.

The book teaches our kids:

Yes, plan, but don’t worry about the plan. It’s going to change. Allen Saunders said it best: “Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.” If our kids are equipped to handle change, they’ll thrive.

Define your own meaning. No one else can give you your 42. This is the very essence of being a happy, healthy individual. My 42 may be very different from my son’s and daughter’s 42. And that’s OK. As long as their 42 makes them happy, healthy, and doesn’t harm others.

Enjoy the challenges. As parents, we want our kids’ paths to be straight and safe. As parents, we tend to over-engineer certainty, charts, schedules, structure.

But that’s not real life. Yes, life is hard. Yes, there will be challenges every step of the way on your life adventure. But Adams is telling us that we need to find our way of coping. That can be in the form of a friend group. It can be in the form of having a third place to get away and decompress (I wrote about the need for third spaces here). The book reminds us that life is an adventure, not an itinerary. And every setback is an invitation to improvise. And improvisation can lead to unexpected joy.

The universe is filled with weird people. And that’s what makes it so fun. Throughout the book, we meet a cast of characters that are absurd and quirky, from two-headed renegade space pirates, to depressed robots, to process-obsessed bureaucrats. But they all have value, and they all serve a purpose. The entire cast is a lesson in embracing difference.

And that’s where we, as parents, also get challenged. We coach our kids to fit in, worry when they are quirky, and we correct their weird little interests. If we want kids who accept others we need to stop trimming their own oddities.

We’re raising our kids in a world that is heavy, structured, and over-curated. But outside that door, it’s chaotic as hell. But The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy shows kids (and us) that survival (true happiness), adaptability, curiosity, playfulness, meaning, and a sense of humor matter most.

It’s asking our kids to enjoy the ride, stay flexible when the road shifts, and build their own 42 as they go.

If we can raise kids who don’t panic, then maybe we’ve taught them the one thing no curriculum teaches:

The courage to not just survive their journey, but enjoy it.

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My son came into my home office asking if I will help him understand something he was reading for homework. Luckily he was reading The Catcher in the Rye. I was very happy to see that schools still have this book on their required reding list. I love this book so much that my son’s middle name is Holden.

He was struggling to understand why a story about a well to do kid from Manhattan in the 1950’s was so important to him, a middle class suburban kid in 2025? Fair question.

Specifically he complained to me,

“I don’t get why he keeps asking about the ducks in Central Park.”

That comment cut me to my very core. To me, Holden’s questions about the ducks are the most important theme of the book. (Yes, there are many others. But to me, the ducks are the most important.)

“Easy,” I replied. “Empathy.”

“Empathy for ducks?” He looked at me more puzzled than when he came in.

“Empathy for all,” I replied. “In The Catcher in the Rye, Holden asks about the ducks four separate times in four separate chapters,” I explained.

“In Chapter 2 Holden says;
‘I live in New York, and I was thinking about the lagoon in Central Park, down near Central Park South. I was wondering where the ducks went when the lagoon got all icy and frozen over.’

In Chapter 9 he says again
‘You know those ducks in that lagoon right near Central Park South? That little lake? By any chance, do you happen to know where they go, the ducks, when it gets all frozen over?’

In Chapter 12 he keeps looking for an answer;
‘Hey, listen,’ I said. ‘You know those ducks in that lagoon right near Central Park South? That little lake? By any chance, do you happen to know where they go, the ducks, when it gets all frozen over? Do you happen to know, by any chance?’

In Chapter 20, toward the end, Holden actually goes to Central Park to look for the ducks himself. It’s freezing, he’s half delirious, and he can’t find them.
He ends up sitting alone on a bench, feeling sick and scared. “

He doesn’t find the ducks.
They symbolize what he’s searching for, something fragile that survives as their world turns cold. He’s trying to practice empathy. And he’s looking for someone who feels the same. And he’s struggling to find it.

Holden asks himself. But Salinger is really asking us:
“When things get cold and dark, where do the good things go? And do they ever come back?”

Even though this book is 74 years old, our kids also feel the same anxiety, fear of change and lack of empathy as Holden does. Our world is getting colder. Our world is getting more harsh. And as our kids build up their defenses against it, their sense of empathy is slowly crushed. Every adult in the book answers Holden’s question in a similar tone:

“How the hell should I know?” he said. “How the hell should I know a stupid thing like that?”

That’s a metaphor for us, the parents, adults, or role models in a young person’s life. If we can’t show empathy, they can’t model it.

When Holden asks about the ducks, he’s asking, “Does anyone care about small, fragile things?”

Why does he ask this? Two reasons: first Holden sees himself as one of the small fragile things. His world is falling apart and it’s overwhelming him. That’s a feeling our kids today still feel except multiplied by ten with the addition of Social Media, the rise in fascism and the overwhelming tidal wave of deep fakes and online bullying. Case in point, people cheered when DOGE shut down USAID. As a result 5 million kids under the gage of 5 will die from starvation and disease by they year 2030. “Does anyone care about small, fragile things?”

Holden’s simple question, “Where do they go?”, is an exposure of his innocence, vulnerability and uncertainty in this time of change. Holden is saying, “Someone should look out for them.” But he’s really asking “Will someone should look out for me?”

When Holden asks about the ducks, he’s testing whether the adults in his world are still capable of caring about something small and helpless. Their blank or irritated responses prove they’re not. He’s irritated and his anxiety increases not because of how the adults are. He’s irritated because he sees his future. He fears that’s how he, and all members of his generation, will grow to be.

Every time he asks that question, he’s really saying, “Is anyone out there still capable of caring about something small?” and every adult answers with “How the hell should I know?”

“Why is this important to read?” I ask my son. I don’t wait for an answer. “Holden’s question is really a lesson in empathy as survival.”

“Survival?” my son counters. “Isn’t that a bit dramatic dad?”

“Not physical survival,” I push pack. “Caring about something other than yourself, even something as simple as a duck, is how we stay human in a cold world.”

It’s the same energy that makes Holden adore his younger sister Phoebe, defend innocence, and want to be “the catcher in the rye”, the one who saves kids before they fall. His empathy is refusal to let the world harden him.

So when my son’s teacher is asking questions about ducks, he’s not looking for an answer. He’s looking for a dialog. And I think the dialog needs to be:

Can’t we all use a few more Holden Caulfields in our world these days?

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Last week I was reading The Great Gatsby. Actually, I was re-reading it for about the 10th time. We’ve all read it in high school. But the problem is, that in high school you have to read it, not want to read it. Therefore there is a wall of resistance by high school kids (mine included) that prevents them from absorbing the brilliance and the grasping the themes of true happiness, false status, cultural performance and true life meaning.

My kid noticed me reading the book and asked me why they are required to read the book. It’s on their required reading list for next semester.

“Dad, it’s about rich people and parties from a hundred years ago. What does that have to do with me?”

“It has everything to do with you,” I told them.

Here’s what most people miss: Fitzgerald wrote the first real social-media novel. Gatsby is all about putting on a show for the world, curating your life, chasing someone else’s definition of happiness. It’s about wanting what everyone else has, and masking emptiness with a pretty face. Sound familiar?

It’s a story about outward performance. It’s about curating an image, believing status leads to happiness. It’s a story about cultural envy. And most importantly it’s a story about moral bankruptcy disguising itself as glamour.

Every one of those themes are putting pressure on and causing record levels anxiety levels in our kids today.

Gatsby embraced the idea of spinning up a “personal brand” from scratch. He created an entire persona, mysterious and magnetic, just to win the love of someone always out of reach, and a social circle full of people who will never let him in. He threw wild parties, built a myth from gossip, and let rumor turn into reality. He was an influencer. He was a living, breathing meme.

My kids think their generation is too modern for Gatsby. They have difficulty seeing Gatsby is experiencing the same FOMO they live everyday. While Gatsby built a mansion, threw parties and curated a mysterious persona in real time, our kids do the same thing every day. Only they do it on Tik Tok, YouTube, Snap and Twitter. The only difference is today’s consequences are far more dangerous and wide spread. Sextortion, Predators, Scammers and online stalkers are the consequences today.

The Pursuit of Image

Gatsby’s mansion isn’t a home; it’s a theatrical stage set designed to broadcast an image across society. He’s constantly performing for an audience that doesn’t care about him. He isn’t chasing Daisy so much as chasing the version of himself he believes she’ll love, the myth of success polished until it blinds him.

That’s the modern teenager’s trap. They build highlight reels curating only the best moment of their lives. Only the good stuff shines out. They edit their personalities for engagement. Reels, Snaps, Filters, Editors, Masks. They create the same illusion as Gatsby. Only the platform has changed. An here’s where it gets dangerous. When you start believing in your own advertising, you lose sense of who you really are. That’s dangerous, mentally and physically.

The Pursuit of Wealth as Happiness

Gatsby thinks money is the ticket. To him, money equals belonging, love, a pass into some rarefied world. Gatsby worships money not for what it buys, but for what he thinks it promises; legitimacy, belonging and, love. He thinks he can change reality with champagne fueled highlight reels and society gossip. But he’s wrong on every single count.

That’s the delusion the digital world keeps selling to our kids: money equals happiness, money will bring you love, that money buys perfection. Gatsby chased the wrong currency. He chased wealth and perceived status thinking it would bring him love, morals, values and authenticity.

The Callousness of the Rich

Tom and Daisy Buchanan are the patron saints of entitlement. They hurt the people around them and hide behind their privilege.

That’s a theme being played out in real time today.

Every generation has its Buchanans, politicians who blame the poor for being poor, CEOs who preach “values” while squeezing their labor, influencers who cry on camera to generate engagement.

Tom and Daisy walked away from the wreckage. So do most of our modern leaders, from politicians, to preachers and influencers. Fitzgerald warned us about consequences not existing for the rich and powerful. A scenario influencing our kids philosophy of life today.

Illusion vs. Reality

The very core of the novel is the theme of deception, of others and of self.
Every guest at Gatsby’s mansion talks about him, but no one knows him. He’s a meme. He becomes a manufactured image with a heartbeat. And social media is a swamp full of Gatsby ghosts, big smiles hiding exhaustion, glossy wins hiding burnout. Our task is to teach them to recognize, understand and reject the digital images presented as reality.

We’re raising kids fluent in filters, but lost when it comes to authenticity. That’s what Fitzgerald was warning about: when you chase the illusion long enough, you forget who you were before you put on the costume.

Loneliness and Isolation

Here’s the line every parent should discuss with their kids:

Gatsby’s house is packed every weekend, and he still dies alone.

We can fill every corner of our digital mansions with followers and still be starving for real connection. Our kids can fill every streaming minute, every social feed, every DM. Still, the loneliness lingers. Maybe it’s worse than ever. More connections doesn’t mean you’re any less isolated.

Gatsby’s loneliness was a consequence of his own actions.
He built his life on image and performance. And yet, nobody really knew him.

Moral Decay Behind Glamour

Fitzgerald write about a segment of society that was rotting while wrapped in gold. Every glittering detail, the parties, the clothes, the music, excess amounts of champagne, the new cars cars, the shallow agreeable laughter all hide true human depth and show the decay of empathy and human values.

That’s still the social situation our kids are living in today: the prettier the picture, the harder the truth behind it. The same platforms that promise connection profit from comparison. We tell our kids to “be authentic” while feeding them a world that rewards the opposite.

What Gatsby Got Wrong, And What Our Kids Can Get Right

Gatsby’s failure wasn’t dreaming big, it was chasing admiration from people who didn’t matter. He lost himself trying to impress the crowd.

That’s the warning our kids need.
That’s what we’ve got to tell our kids: Your dreams aren’t the problem. Just make sure you’re not measuring yourself by the wrong signals. Don’t confuse likes with love. Don’t hand your sense of self over to strangers.

If you’re reading this and raising teens, hand them The Great Gatsby, and talk about it. Ask them who in their world looks like Gatsby. Ask them what their “green light” is. And then remind them that the real American Dream isn’t the mansion, the money, or the image.

It’s being able to stand in the noise and say, I still know who I am.

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